[

I feel kinda

|

optimistic

]

Your teasing and toying with all my emotions

A rip tide of lies pull me under the ocean

Pretty words and promises are all that you say

You don't really want me, but you want me to stay

Like a doll on your shelf, just a toy to be stored

You like to know that I'm there while I'm being ignored

I have my own life, I belong to myself

I'll leave you alone with your empty toy shelf



You know who you are

[

I feel kinda

|

tired

]

Sorry its been a while since I updated. Since my dad has died my life has been..different. His memorial was saturday and his milatry burial was monday. both were really sad but I had two of the most important people in my life there to make it better, and they did take away some of the pain. So thank you Michelle and James. I got my nose pirced yesterday, just on a random, class-skipping whim. Talked with James, told him that when I graduate in a couple months, I wanted to move up to Derango. He said he wanted to come, and told me he was really serious about moving down there with me. I guess we'll see if that really pans out, but if it does, I would be one really, really happy camper. We're gonna road trip down there the first weekend of summer break. I'll try to keep everyone a little more updated.

I dont know if these quiz things will come up. They've been acting up lately, so if they don't, sorry.

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>What Your Favorite Color Green Says About You:</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EEEEEE"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourfavoritecolorsayaboutyouquiz/green.jpg" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
Balanced --- Relaxed --- Flexible
Compassionate --- Philosophical --- Humble
Loyal --- Inventive --- Unique</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourfavoritecolorsayaboutyouquiz/">What Does Your Favorite Color Say About You?</a></div>

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>You Are 96% Feminist</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/areyouafeministquiz/feminist-5.jpg" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man).
You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/areyouafeministquiz/">Are You a Feminist?</a></div>

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>You Are 26% Bitchy</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EEEEEE"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/howbitchyareyouquiz/bitchy-2.jpg" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
You're a pretty sweet person, and you're definitely not prone to bitchy outbursts.
Sometimes, though, you can't help thinking mean thoughts about people. But at least you don't act on them!</font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/howbitchyareyouquiz/">How Bitchy Are You?</a></div>

[

I feel kinda

|

sleepy

]

30 Things You'd Never Think to Ask

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?
Searched? More like raided!

2. Do you close your eyes on roller coaster?
Try not to

3. When's the last time you've been sledding?
 two months ago


4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Alone has more bed space, but in the arms of someone else is nice to

5. Do you believe in ghosts?
oh yeah

6. Do you consider yourself creative?
Yes

7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
Are you kidding? Your even asking that question makes me think you were on the jury stand!

8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
God, I dunno.

To my daddy...


Beautiful Dreamer, asleep on the moon
Silver cloud blankets, stars guide the dream

The dream of warm rain in the summer month of June

Wild flowers, and Daisy, a vally lush and green

‘Oh Dreamer, rest well, high above your worries

Sleeping in a place with no room for pain

With no hurt, no illness, no anger, and no hurry

Take your time Dreamer, and dream it again

Take deep breaths, sweet dreamer, inhale the whole night

The whole world is sleeping with you below

And though they will wake at the first morning light

You stay sleeping and let your dreams grow

Beautiful Dreamer, dream me a color

That can bring me close to you

So bright, so beautiful, compared by no other

Make it pure, shimmering and true

Beautiful Dreamer, continue your slumber

From now into eternity

Your no longer with us, so I’m left to wonder

Dreamer, are you dreaming of me?

[

I feel kinda

|

depressed

]

Dad,
I know your leaving soon. I know you stayed as long as you could, and with every fighting day I saw you face the reality of what is happening to you. The reality of the fact that no matter how hard mom, Rachel, the doctors, nurses and I all try... no one can save you. And I never, ever saw you cry. Not yester year, not today and never in the future, and though I admire you for that, its becoming unrealistic for me because I want to be strong, like you were. I want to face every challenge knowing that I won't go down without a fight. But I can't be that strong. I cry all the time. I cry when I think about the fact that you'll never walk me down the ale at my wedding. I cry because I know of the long, lonely days my mom has to wake to. I cry for your family because they are losing a son and brother. I cry for my little sister because at only 12 she is losing her father. And I cry for you, because I know you wont. And I hope that its because, with your condition, you can't comprehend what this means. That it means your going to be leaving soon. But I know that you know that your family loves you. You still love us to, I see it when you smile at me, and though you can't really talk or really function anymore, that smile says it all. And when your gone, I hope somehow you leave me some of your streagth so that I can be the one to show those who will be broken that tomorrow is another day, so that I can find a way to put my own hurt behind me to comfort our family. So that I can be the one to trust that where ever you go from here, I know you will still be looking down on us and protecting us. I can't change whats happening to you, but I can use this to make myself a better person. And my only regret is not telling you when you could comprehend it, that I love you and I admire you, and as long as I'm alive, you will never, ever be forgotten.

Love, your oldest daughter
                         Sarah June

Well, last night was the drunken Olympics between me, Keeley, Andy Besho, Rachel and Brandon. We started with the thirty beer chug, followed with the coconut rum. Then A hack-a-thon and Foosball tournament. Next Rachel got the gold in the both the five foot fall and the toilet plunge. She was standing on the sink looking at herself in the mirror while Brandon was peeing and managed to fall right in the line of fire, landing across the toilet while her boyfriend tried his hardest (and failed) to pinch it off. So when I say she got the gold, I’m not talking medals. Then at no-pants-o’clock we had the penis measuring event. After that was the girls league. Then the boob flash. I think they were going to have a jerk-athon(which I was gonna take no part in) but Brandon got turned off when Rachel drank the night’s ashtray. And Besho and Keeley didn’t leave the jack shack so I’m gonna guess he won but everyone scored. Well, but me. I slept with the dog. Signing off, hung over and surprisingly, only a little ashamed. 

Happy valentine’s day.

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2><tr><td bgcolor="#DDDDDD" align=center><font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'><b>You Are More Yin</b></font></td></tr><tr><td bgcolor="#EEEEEE"><center><img src="http://images.blogthings.com/areyoumoreyinoryangquiz/yin.jpg" height="100" width="100"></center><font color="#000000">
<center><strong>Feminine
Devoted
Forgiving
Fall
Winter
Afternoon
Moon
Time
Passive
Metal
Honey</strong></center></font></td></tr></table><div align="center"><a href="http://www.blogthings.com/areyoumoreyinoryangquiz/">Are You More Yin or Yang?</a></div>

"We're never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy"

Had an interesting enough week or so.  Went on a couple dates with this guy I used to go to high school with. Not interested but really appreciating sitting across from someone who doesn't call the slow waiter a fag to his face and not only pays for everything, but opens all doors, walks me home and actually cares. Crazy thought, huh? Someone who actually cares about more then getting in my pants. Quit my job, ditched the world for a couple of days with James. My dads new trial is actually working, which means the world is one step closer to finding a cure for cancer (at least brain) I'm in high spirits I miss James. Hes like the morning sunlight on my face: he reminds me how beautiful life is.